Wanna get a laugh?
Ok, that was sarcasm! AH has requested that we try a 'different' marriage counselor. He thought the first one was too pompous and read from his book too much. Now, I didn't like the guy much, either, because he would let AH go off on rants and scream and didn't even cut him off when he screamed at me. I truly felt like I was wasting money anyway, so now I am on a mission to find a new therapist, LOL!
Oh, and last night while on the phone(AH is out of town) he says, "We just need to find a way to better communicate with each other. That guy didn't give us any tools for even trying to talk to each other." I kept my mouth shut and just agreed. What I really wanted to say was, "There can't be open and honest communication until I begin to trust you. Until I see changes in your personality that reflect growth and until you stop blaming me and bringing up crap from the past, etc. We don't communicate well because I don't trust you with your words nor do I feel ready to open up to you when I am still licking my wounds from your verbal onslaughts. The ego and self-centered narcissistic attitudes have to go, too, because it gets in the way of us becoming emotionally intimate."
Sigh, he sounds good when I talk to him. Unfortunately, I know the truth. He's too immature. He has to be right all the time. He has to point out my shortcomings from 15 years ago to change the subject. And, he won't address the drinking except to profess that he's quit. All I can do is pray that therapist number 2 won't even bother to work with us until AH gets help. Maybe that will get AH to a place where he realizes he has a problem, and it's not just about the alcohol? Or maybe not? Doesn't really matter at this point. I'm just living my life, getting help when I need it, taking care of the home and the family, and when he decides that life isn't all about him, then maybe he'll find his own happiness which may be with or without me.