Ahhh, sweetie, remember that his mind was very sick from addiction and that we simply do not have to power to make it better...whether we do what they want or choose to stop the madness on our side of the street.
I am glad you are sharing here, working through this will help you get past the dark days until one day your memories will be of better times and the pain of addiction can be a faded bad memory.
Remember that under it all, he was a good person who loved his family. He lost himself when he picked up drugs, you didn't lose him. Addiction just does that to people and sadly, many die and leave those of us who loved them heart broken.
I cannot know your pain, but I can send hugs and try to hold my candle and share my light until yours glows again soon.
