You know, if we can't forgive each other for the hurts we've inflicted on each other, then we have no right to be together. How can you live with a person who will walk around with resentment and constantly remind you of what you did in the past? Especially when their own lives were full of trash.
Think this one through. You don't want him as a housemate or husband. Why would you want him as a friend? And if he's going to be high, do you want him around your children?
Keep doing meetings and posting here. WE'll all help you through this.
Hugs, Kathy