A little lost
I am what most people would label a binge drinker. Although I often go through long periods of sobriety, when I do drink, most often it ends in near or total blackout. The situation that finally pushed me to seek help through this forum is a couple of weeks ago I went out and got black out drunk. From what I can remember through the few hazy memories is that at one point I let a couple stranger take advantage of me. I have never felt so dirty in my life and to make matters worse I am in a committed relationship. I feel that when I drink, I become a completely different person. And although when I was younger I enjoyed letting the crazy side out, now all I feel the morning after is hurt and horrible. I don't like my drunk side anymore and I am very much afraid that if I continue down the road of binge drinking it may cost me everything that I care about. The truth about what happen the last time I drank is not something that I feel comfortable sharing with anyone in my family or friends and so I came here in the hopes of maybe finding some people who understand what I'm going through and can support me without fear of judgement.