WWG, Hi I know your're stuggling and I really feel for you.
I tried and failed may times, until the realisation finallyhit me that I cannot drink any more. I've tried it all, not drinking until after a certain time in the evening, only drinking at week ends, cutting down. it doesn't work, it's always the first drink that does the damage.
Falling down isn't failing, staying down is failing, but maybe now it's time you got a bit more help, the doctor may be able to give you something to help with your cravings or withdrawals. What is so scary about going to an A.A meeting? What have you got to lose? could you not just try one and see what you think? A.A meetings are full of people just like me and you, intelligent, hard working, decent people with an alcohol addiction. Just try one!
You are still young and every reason to do this, your wife, your family, you. Come on WWG, it's time to get real and start to turn your life around, it's not easy, but no pain, no gain.
This keeps me going and I read it every day and focus on one point each day.
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Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problem at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appal me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. Most people are as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything to my own desires. I will take my ‘luck’ as it comes. And fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study. I will learn something useful. I will not be a mental loafer. I will read something that requires effort, thought and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways. I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out. If anyone knows of it, it will not count. I will do at least two things I don’t want to do-just for exercise. I will not show that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as well as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticise not one bit, not find fault with anything and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.
Just for today I will have a programme. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests; hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective of my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. Especially I will not be afraid to enjoy what is beautiful, and to believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me.
Thinking of you
big hugs
Gxx