I think it is harder for men to find forgiveness.
Our pride gets in the way.
How dare they do that (as they remind me of my past actions)
I get more upset I think because of the reminder of my past then I do of the action itself. A constant for me at time... forgive as you have been forgiven ... tends to be a bible verse that runs through my head.
As Chy said... slow down and think on things.
Healing takes time. Growth from out of the ashes and healing will take time.
For me it would take a long time, for my wife it took but a moment.
Slow down and think on what you are looking for. Boundaries for tomorrow, forgiveness for today. Think things through.