Fear can be a powerful motivator for sure.
Try some logic instead maybe?
You know your drinking will get worse if you don't stop - you know you stand to lose everything you hold dear.
You've seen the success stories here - no one would stay in recovery if they felt they lost out on the deal
Forever was a terror for me too - but one day at a time, I could manage.
The important bit is to recommit to that vow - every day.
Eventually forever came to seem achievable to me
I hope you decide to give something else a go WWG - don't kid yourself it can't get worse.
D