Hi AudreyAna - we're so glad you joined the family.
Everyone's said all the good stuff, so I'll just add that I know you can get off the poison and stop leaning on it. I did, after a lifetime of drinking. In the end, I was so dependent on it I didn't make a move unless I knew I'd have access to alcohol. That's not living. We're numb and not reacting to things that happen - we're not growing. I know you want out of that nightmare, and you will do this. Please keep reading and posting. We care.