I'm so sorry SJD. This alcoholic brain is clever and patient. It waits until we feel strong, then it strikes. You have my sympathy xxx.
I really do believe though that these relapses happen for a reason. They can in fact make us stronger than ever. I know that's no comfort to you as you struggle to come to terms with this, but if there's a lesson to be learned for us all it's that we can NEVER drink normally. We are just built differently from other people.
I'm sending you lots of love today. I know you feel like crap, but be gentle with yourself. Drink plenty of water, rest, then try out that meeting.
Today is day 1. But it's the last day 1 you need ever have xxx