Thank you so much for the support. I was reading all last night and all day at people's stories. It is very comforting to know i am not alone.
I grew up with two alcoholic parents so enabling has always been something I just did. It is "normal" to me. This week has been the hardest week of my life not speaking to him and nicely telling him that he can not contact me until he goes to rehab.
We were engaged. He asked me one night while he was on xanax..i was just so happy he even asked (because he always said he didnt believe in marriage) that i still said yes knowing he was on drugs.
You were so dead on with the grieving of a life i thought we were going to have because I kept picturing how our wedding would be once he was recovered for awhile. What hurts the most is the lies and misleading things he done. He made me feel like a bright future was in front of us when he never stopped using.