((addictedtohim)) - Welcome to SR, though I'm sorry for what brought you here. I'm both a recovering addict AND a recovering codependent. I've had 3 relationships (one over 20 years) and all where A's (addicts/alcoholics). I started using alcohol, then drugs, just to be ale to deal with them which led to my own addiction.
His use is NOT your fault, no matter what his parents say. A lot of people, when facing an addict loved one try to find someone else to blame.
I chose to use alcohol and drugs, just as your exbf did. I'm over 5 years into recovery and I know that there is no one to blame but me.
When you say you are addicted to him (which I TOTALLY understand) you may want to think how hard a time you are going through "withdrawals" and accept that it's very similar to addiction of substances. FWIW, I've found it harder to work my codie-recovery than my addiction one.
I also understand the hope that things will work out with you both. Addiction is a life-long disease. I can slack on my recovery and go right back to using. I'm not saying give up hope, but I will say that his actions speak louder than words.
I hope you read other posts - you will find you are not alone, and you will find that some A's never find recovery. My last XABF was like that. Even though we shared the same addiction, and I knew it inside and out, he chose to quit using, I chose recovery and I knew I couldn't be around him without jumping back into old and bad behaviors.
It hurt, but I'd read enough here to learn I had to take care of me. He's going to do what he's going to do. We have what we call the "3 C's" here - you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you can't cure it.
Best thing you can do is get all the support you can (al-anon and nar-anon are great, as is SR). It takes time and it takes grieving for the life you thought you would have with him. Good news is, you CAN get through this and you CAN learn to carry on with the life you want, regardless of what he does. Promise
Hugs and prayers,
Amy