30 August stopped
Hi all
I drank a lot. I am an alcoholic – but hell I am stronger than it. Hope the following text is not too boring or self indulgent etc. I am sitting at home alone on a Friday night – and feeling good (even though I have a bottle of my worst enemy in the fridge).
Read a lot on this website during the last week or so....I just registered today. Take my hat off to the guys who started it – REALLY does provide support plus useful info. As regards the support – in my opinion it provides more than any self help book and it truly inspired me over the last week to
be strong, to get stronger and to remain strong for me and my family
I started drinking about 15 years ago – gradually it has increased to unacceptable amounts. Meaning I start to drink with intention of having a few beers and cannot stop and continue until I am drunk – then do stupid things and make an ass of my self. Saturday 25th August went biking in the country side – got about 2miles dropped into a pub – and yes you guessed right promised myself afew beers – but drank 7 US pints. Monday 27 August to Wednesday 29 August I drank enough beer – each evening..... I drank about 9 or 10 US pints each night (about 5 litres Europe). Over the past 8 years I drank about 5 US pints per day. I 'kinda' stopped Thursday 30 August – drank a bottle of beer that night and did not decide to stop maybe I decided to cut down anyway Thursday became Friday.....then Saturday. And so it continues nad I have not drank anything since Thursday 30 August.
Usually I would come home drunk or almost drunk smelling like hell, get up the next day go to work – going home in the evening go to the pub – promise myself only two beers but 90 percent of time it would end up being 6 or 7 beers – every day. It was taking over my life – I guess you all know the feeling when you sink your first cold beer and it feels great and you can't wait for the next beer and the next beer. If I did not go to the pub I would have maybe 20 or 30 bottles of beer (US pint) at home. Sometimes I would get up early say 3am and just sink a cold bottle of beer. I could not wait for Friday – this is my second Friday and I have not drank a drop of alcohol.
Myself I am doing a lot to place myself in front of alcohol – in fact I even have a bottle of beer in the fridge – its been there since last week – my last bottle that I will not drink. I have been to my usual pub – drank afew bottles of water.
Also I have changed my diet – I started last Saturday – homemade museli and white yogurt breakfast, fruit tea. Mid morning snack fruit or carrots. Lunch. Then in evening time salad with homemade olive oil dressing. I now do not eat after 7pm. Indeed I have had a sweet tooth since I stopped drinking but have not indulged in the habit – since Saturday 25th August I have drank about 3 pints of coca cola. Usually when I want something sweet I go for a carrot or an apple.
Why am I doing my best to stop:
1. Family – I have a 10 year old son and wife – they do not deserve it. And I need to regain their respect.
2. My health – if I continue drinking it is just going to get worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse and worse – cannot emphasize this enough.
3. My weight..... I need to lose about 20 lbs.
4. I do nothing but drink – and I believe I can (and will) do more.
I am 44 years, I do not live in USA, I live in Czech Republic where beer is the national drink and is NOT expensive......its is easy to go to a normal pub here and get drunk for 15 USD – so my reason to stop drinking is not really economically driven – alcohol was and still could destroy my life and my families life. So I am felling good, had a few very strong urges to drink – but I am better than it that is for sure. I can tighten my belt an extra notch, the puffy bloated face is going.
Tomorrow (Saturday) yes I am going to the pub to watch US Open Tennis (Berdych vs Murray) – Berdych is from Czech Republic. Yes I am going into the lions den – but it is not going to beat me, I will not drink.
I really read a lot on this site – a lot of what I read really inspired me. In fact I remember looking at a photo on this site of one girl – before and after she stopped drinking – she looks excellent. I read about people who are in a worse situation than me – and indeed that also inspired me because I believe that if I continue drinking it will destroy me and my family (wife and son). My wife and son are not here for the weekend - she is gone to visit her mother – I purposely stayed at home alone in order to face it all alone this weekend – I am stronger than it, and that much I can show to myself and the benefits of it will over flow into my families life as time goes by.
To conclude, I would like to the type of person that could drink occasionally, but that is not me, I love beer, I love drinking it, tasting it etc. But I simply can't drink it because I am an alcoholic and I always will be an alcoholic so I can't drink alcohol.
Might even watch Rocky I tonight - now that is a feel good movie.
Thanks