Originally Posted by
Dark Asylum 
i have tried CBT it didn't work out for me as i had a hard time understanding it
and had bad experience with the therapist makes me not want to use a therapist again
I have in the past used AA and i found it helpful but because of my social anxiety i find being around people hard i do go to meeting online and it helps
CBT can be as simple as countering a negative thought with a positive one... so if you think a bad thought about yourself, try and think of some evidence against it.
Would it help if your husband could go with you to meetings or to see a therapist? It seems a shame to rule out all therapy because of a bad experience.
I am not sure of any tactics for recovering from grief... I lost my dad too. All I know is that after a year things started to get easier. I hope things get easier for you too x