This is such an interesting topic.
I'm still struggling with loving myself. I'm a lot less harsh on myself since I've been sober, but I still have issues with viewing myself as less important than everyone else. It's something I'm working on, and I must say that I definitely don't HATE myself any more, which was how I felt when I was a drunk.
For me, I think the most important thing is to respect my own wants and desires the same way I respect other peoples. If I start beating myself up about who I am, I ask myself whether I would be so negative if someone else had done/said/thought the things I was berating myself for. These can be such small things (not saying thank you because I was in a rush, etc) and I realise that I would never judge anyone for the small 'mistakes' they make. This way, I'm not so hard on myself.