finding things hard
Am finding things hard at the moment
17th of September is the anniversary of my dads death ( 1 year)
he killed himself
i feel like i need to drink or do drugs ...I talked to my husband about it and he said that am doing so well with not drinking , he understands why i want to
But said my dad wouldnt want me to take drugs or drink...( my dad didnt know about my drinking and taking drugs ) but he wouldnt want me to be high all the time
Also am not eating so much and i cant get help for it as i have a BMI of 40
meaning am obese i have tried to see dietsion but they wont let me see one unless my BMI is 17 witch is underweight or if am diabetic witch am not
am eating under 1000 calories a day sometimes eating as low as 500 calories a day
Am falling apart am also self injuring as well ...i have been doing that for a long time and so has my eating been something i have been doing for a long time
the last drink i had was in February this year
Am really dont know what to do