"what you don't want to try the new wine I bought, I bought it for you"
"I just ran into so and so.....I hadn't seen him in ages, it was just a quick one."
And my new personal fave.....
Him: "I was doing so good, and then you didn't send me a picture of our son with his cupcake" (it was our sons birthday that he missed)
Me: "I sent you a picture of him in his little suit."
Him: "well, he didn't have a cupcake in the picture, did he?"