Cyranoak

...it's even harder for me to be nice to new dudes than to gals. I have to get on top of that. I could have said it differently and I apologize.

In my defense I never suggested leaving her. What I should have left it at is my strong encouragement for you to focus primarily on yourself. As strange as it sounds, and as many others have said, it's the only thing I've ever seen work relative to a loved one's drinking (but it doesn't work all the time-- there's this other side of the street, their side, and if they aren't keeping their side clean sobriety does not come regardless).

I believe that by finally, after many years, focusin on me it created an environment where my wife was able to focus on herself. Since she chose to actually do so, she found sobriety and is working with specialists on her bipolar disorder. There have been a couple of relapses, one serious, but today finds her back on the horse.

More will be revealed. We're still together after 14 years, but I have to say most of them have been miserable for me, and all because I picked a depressed, alcoholic, drug addict, single mother with a three year old baby as my life mate and spouse for the first five of those 14 years.

In my mind she was a great pick, and I believed my focus was directed appropriately towards her and our daughter. It was all about them.

I though I could save her. I had delusions of grandeur, a cape on my back, the ability to read minds, the ability to change their future, and it was my responsibility to do so.

Here I come to save the day! White horse, cape, a few bucks in the bank, nice house, nice car, sword named Dragon Slayer, and college degrees coming out of my ass. What a guy. Some or all of this may or may not apply to you. Truly, I'm speaking only of me.

I hope some of this helps. Please do take what you want, if anything, and leave the rest.

Again, my apologies.

Take care,

C-