I couldn't stand to read the rest of that without it triggering me deeply. But I've taken a few deep breaths and a walk around the house and just want to say..
You, my friend, appear to be deeply enmeshed in her addiction and recovery. You are trying to control things you cannot control. Your relationship is eerily parental in nature and apparently will continue to be.
I have all sorts of thoughts racing in my head.. sort of like a pinball. I "qualify" for something like 10 boards here on SR. I'm an addict, I'm an alcoholic. (as of last weekend, 4 years sober and recovered). I was born from addicts, raised by alcoholics. I've loved many in romantic relationshps and dear friendships. Just wanted to clarify that I'm not coming at this from just one perspective.
She will always be an alcoholic. I'm sure Cyranoak wouldn't mind me throwing his name in here, but listen to him. He is very very wise.
You are trying to control a situation that you have no business in. Yeah, she's pregnant, I get that.. so go to a dr. appt with her and spill the beans, if she was serious about recovery she'd be more than willing to get her ass into a rehab until she delivers. I bet some rehabs would have advice about that. Intensive outpatient services? Something.
This isn't a 'we' thing. You aren't qualified to treat her, to rule her around, or to force her into rehab against her will. As an addict/alcoholic, absolutely nothing besides jail or death could have kept me from using/drinking if I still wanted to. I saw a glimmer of your realization of this powerlessness in your other thread, but then here is like BAM BAM BAM.. alcoholic jail imposed by husband. (it's not going to work this way, and I know you're scared to DEATH about her alcoholism, this baby, this child being raised by a drunk either in recovery or not, your own issues with codependency, which are screaming LOUD AND CLEAR in this thread). It is scary.. this is life and death stuff. This is screw a kid up for life stuff. Did me. I never had anyone to protect me. I didn't end up all unicorns and rainbows.
I'm babbling, sorry.. like I said, struck a few neurons in my head (IE: causing the pinball effect).
I think there's 2 things here. What she does until she has that baby, and what she does after.
Neither of which you have control over.
I will put money on this though.. if she TRULY hasn't been drinking (which I would also put money on that she HAS been), and really did just this one time, that's WORSE.. worse because she wasn't physically dependent at this point, worse because she is clear headed by 8 months making a very conscious decision to alter her life and her baby's life.. so I will put money on the fact that once she isn't as "worried" ?? about the baby, that she'll drink again.. why not!? What does this relationship look like in 3 years? 5? 10? Tracking device and all? Is this healthy for a child? Is this enhancing to your life?
Just some thoughts.. pardon the randomness.