Originally Posted by
Threshold 
Wow, thanks everyone, what a lot of really helpful thoughts here to wake up to.
I LOVE that term "self-full" as opposed to selfish. Yes, yes YES!
And it had never even occured to me that he might have been in black out when he called. I was just assuming he knew what he was doing, and meant what he said. Duh...giving WAY to much weight to something that is probably no more memorable or meaningful to him than a beer burp.
I really really needed that perspective, thank you SO much.
It will be hard, but I know you all are right that I just shouldn't take the next call, and most likely there will be one sooner or later. Why put myself through that when it really does no good for either of us.
I am in my own recovery program and I know deep inside that I did not get sober only to keep dragging a drunk around with me. I don't mean to live with my life hostage to alcohol through another person.
I had been hoping to get a call, wanting to know how he was doing, well, i got it alright. ouch.
Threshold,
that's what I figured from your initial post. You hoped for a call from him. Sadly it didn't turn out to be the kind of call you hoped for. *sigh*
I think you're correct in not giving too much weight to what he may have articulated. In hindsight, I SURE hope people don't give weight to the things I said during my drunk calls.
I'm especially sad about some very, very mean things I said to my beloved sister. Unfortunately she does not seem completely convinced that the things I said during my drunk calls weren't to be taken to heart... It's been several years and I think on a certain level the damage cannot be repaired completely. Black outs are a bitch, especially since it feels a tad unfair. I know I was the one who allowed myself to get drunk, but who the heck is the person who said all those mean things? I was shocked when she told me about it - much later.