Songtx

Hi all,

Welp, just passed the 3 month mark. All in all it was fairly easy with the exception a few really hard times and days here and there. I even got through a vacation with my still drinking husband. That was the second and thrird week of August. My husband flew home and I ended up staying another week with a friend. Really had no urges to drink once he was gone. Since I have gotten back home, it has been another story. We have a friend who we have not seen in a while staying at our house. In the past, we would spend many a night hanging with this friend, while getting wasted. This friend doesn't even really drink, but smokes pot and will have a few beers with us. Anyway, unexpectedly, this guy is a huge drinking trigger for me. Add to that my husband has been drinking more than usual since our friend is here. I have smoked pot 3 times now since giving it up along with drinking. It is not even getting me high nor making me feel good, in fact, I have just been tired and gotten a headache. I have been wanting to drink pretty badly and been trying to convince myself that it is ok to drink for various reasons. I am especially getting annoyed and angry with the fact that it just seems like my husband and I are not on the same page with how we want to live. I've been feeling like "if you can't beat 'em join 'em" lately, but I know deep down that will not make me happy. I don't even want to deal with or see my husband drunk, it just pisses me off. I'm trying to do what is right for me, but still I feel horrible about life.