Hello everyone. This is my first post. A little background on me and why I am here.
I am 24 years old. My 25th birthday will be next month. Since I was 18 I drank "socially" but drank a lot. Nothing you wouldn't expect from an 18 year old. I had friends who were 21 so it was easily accessible and a near daily activity. Still I don't think this is out of the norm for a teenager who is just getting experience with alcohol. I'll skip all the boring details...
After my 21st birthday up until about a year ago, it was a daily routine to have a few beers or glasses of wine each night after work. Nothing to excessive not really causing me to pass out. I went out and got drunk with friends and actually blacked out once in a while. I did not have (at least dont think I had) a problem. Then May of last year I starting developing Gastrointestinal problems as a result of my excessive drinking and was told that there was signs of fatty tissue on my liver. I absolutely denied that it was a result of drinking (and still kind of do) but more than likely that is what it was. I actually did quit drinking to get better. From about May to September I completely abstained and I don't even remember it being that hard to quit. Then September happened, I moved out alone in a party city and here I am now.
I have drank every day for the past year. I got a nice buzz on but have noticed that just a nice buzz is about 6-8 beers, which for most people is "drunk." Then most recently I started sleepwalking and urinating in areas that are not meant to be urinated on, having sleep disturbances (thrashing & screaming), and just in general really crappy sleep. I would hate the person that I was drunk... OVERLY social.. i.e. walking down to a neighbors party (that I don't know) when I was home alone to see if they would invite me in. And recently every time I would drink "socially" I would black out and wake up in a panic of what happened.
I think I want to be sober, though I really do feel like I'm still trying to figure the extent of my problem out. I have challenged myself in the past to just not drink during the week but fail every time. Honestly I am not sure that I will even make it this week. Theres a bottle downstairs in the fridge of wine and I can taste it, I want it so bad. That's actually why I signed up here; to take my mind off of it. I know that I can really go have just ONE glass and be fine but I think that if I'm ever going to drink again, I need to lay off for a significant amount of time to build up a reasonable tolerance. I have not drank since Saturday night and am now having a hard time. I'm sure that I'll get thru but just want a support system.
Typing this helped
Sorry I'm a very wordy person!