welocme!! now, this is gonna come from someone in recovery, so take it for what its worth. you mention he goes to meetings, which i will assume are either NA or AA and has been clean for 4 years. what i read is either someone who hasnt worked the steps and isnt practicing the principles of the steps, doesnt have a sponsor and is only goin to meetings and not puttin in the footwork, which goin to meetings and not drinking/using doesnt treat alcoholism/addiction.
or
he may have a chemical imbalance. mass quantities of drugs/alcohol can mess up chemical crap in the brain.
you can work for it and i can read he has great qualities, but know that you cant fix him if he doesnt want to be fixed.