...please don't bring another baby into this.
If you want to know why, read any thread here that discusses children. My daughter, now 17, is on her last chance at a residential school. Her issues related to her mother's drinking and my controlling nature, and both of us being unrealistic about what it takes to truly be a good parent, were a recipe for disaster.
We had no business raising a child--none. And I was sober the whole time.
The list of crap my suicidal daughter has gone through because of the same type of environment you and your guy would provide is tragic and sad.
Please, please, please love this un-conceived child enough TO NOT CONCIEVE IT. Maybe, through counseling, AA, and Alanon you can become a person who will be a good mother. People do it all the time. But, right now, do you truly believe that's who you are now? And, even more important, in what world would your guy be a good father? Babies make these situations worse, not better. It's only on TV, in the movies, and in books that children "save" relationships.
I'm sorry.
Cyranoak
Originally Posted by
Pigtails 
...last night. Today we are starting a diet and exercise plan that includes no alcohol (I'm already not drinking). He said he wants to drink all the beer before we start.
He had been doing a lot better... Still drinking but not to the point of falling down or being completely out of it, for months. I hope he can really go the next month without drinking.
Lately he drinks almost every day, but some days it's two beers while others it's multiple mixed drinks with his brothers etc. I try really hard to not focus on him and just live my own life. But I start to wonder, will he drink every night when we have a kid? Is that healthy??
When he smokes pot he doesn't drink, or doesn't drink much. I actually prefer that because I don't have to worry about him getting blotto. If we had a kid I would worry about the kid being around pot (or alcohol) too much. When he doesn't drink for a couple days he gets intensely overly emotional/weepy with anxiety. I am also worried about any potential legal issues with the pot but our state doesnt go after/care too much about recreational user and he says he has had a medical marijuana card in the past and can get another.
For background purposes, I was sober for over six months, then I found out I was pregnant and then I had a miscarriage. I started drinking again out of intense sadness.
I drank for a month and a half and have now been sober again for 3 weeks. I was not intentionally trying to get pregnant, in fact I was on the Pill. But when I was pregnant I surprised myself by being really excited and really wanting a baby. So now I just keep thinking of all of his in terms of, will he still do this of we have a baby, and will it be good for the baby?? He says he would not drink as much but I think I would be naive to believe that. On the other hand he has really grown up a lot an decreased his drinking since we have been together and I know he loves me and wants to be with me. I am really confused and I guess I'm just writing out my thoughts. It's scary to me that he drank 12 beers in one night when we were just at home watching movies.