Originally Posted by
Lost3000 
Whoahhhh, slow down! Are you engaged, has he proposed? I don't have kids, and the first few years of marriage was plenty for me. I can see why so many marriages end up in divorce when people have kids without even giving their marriage a chance.
Also, not to sound all Dr. Phil on you, but the best predictor of future behavior is the past. My husband was a SLOB when we dated, and um, that hasn't really changed much. He was always trying to help though, and that hasn't changed either.
I've had my fair share of stints with kids, and no, I don't think hanging out downing beers will be good for your baby, or you, or your relationship - when the kid is sick, tired, cranky, not sleeping, throwing up, and wanting attention for every second they are awake.
We are not engaged, we live together and he brings up marriage but (this is horrible) I try to downplay that or change the subject, NOT because I'm not in love with him but because I want to see how things go and how bad his drinking gets, or how much better etc. I guess I want to find out if his drinking is going to get crazy again before I commit to marrying him. But that is probably unrealistic. We were pregnant but had a miscarriage and now I just think a lot about how I'd like to have a child. I get really sad thinking about it. I think he would make a good dad except for his drinking/smoking pot. I guess that is a big "except."