That quote sounds like a version of the "parable of the 99" which I learned a little about by pursuing my degree in religion and theology in the midst of a lot of Christians.
The story goes that of 100 sheep Jesus turns, leaves the flock and goes back to find the one black sheep...the one that is lost. That the ONE lost person is that important...
that being said I also love the line in the U2 songs that says "did you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your bed?"
once, when I was weeping my eyes out in total despair because my ex was out on another crack binge, a very wise woman said to me "God loves him more than you do"
many codies get into that kind of "savior" mentality, that if they don't make the hard sacrifices for the addict then the addict will die. it's a clever way for the demon of addiction to suck your life right out of you. I eventually became a willing victim to feed the addiction!
I mention these things because of my own desire to "save" someone I loved. in some ways I suppose it is natural...but when addiction enters the picture everything gets so amplified, distorted, twisted and un-natural! and...really the wisdom of recovery teaches us that a good codie can wedge themselves right in between the addict and their own higher power...but when an addict hasn't chosen recovery, the codie finds themselves turning their back on their own higher power in order to stay focused on the addict.
I was so focused on my ex's demons that I let my own start dancing with his
what did I sacrifice? my time, my effort, my energy, my focus, my creative force, my mental well being, my heartspace, my yearning for life...in short, I sacrificed my LIFE
I think one thing that really finally helped in my letting go is that I realized that my sacrifices were starting to make me mentally ill. my ex was bi polar as well as addicted to crack and the combination made him a very "split" person. Because I was so tied to him (enmeshed) I started to become split myself. I started reading about personality disorders because I felt myself losing my sanity.
I was NOT willing to sacrifice anymore!! I had worked everything so hard, I was totally exhausted and I felt myself starting to slide down that slope. I decided I had slid far enough. I hit bottom.
Did my efforts help him? I don't know...I don't need to know, I can hope for his well being and recovery...but from a place of loving detachment.
What my efforts DID help was ME. I found myself at a much deeper place of my own recovery. Examining, listening, praying, feeling, reflecting, 4th stepping my way into a clearer understanding of WHY I was trying so hard...sacrificing SO much to hang on.
That has been the greatest gift of this journey.
To love myself fearlessly. To allow a higher love in my life.
But I found I couldn't really have that until I let go of the addiction/codependency relationship that was substituting in it's place.
I will no longer sacrifice my well being, my sanity, my life force and my connection with a higher source of love in order to stay attached to an addict!