Thanks NWGRITS. I don't feel broken as a whole. I feel like parts of me are broken. I have hope, even if as in this thread, some of the hope is misplaced. I don't feel despair. Well deep down I probably do. I feel like I can't trust my emotions, I feel like I am thinking clearly, but with the choices I have made in the past, I am not very trusting of my self.
I feel I am on the road to recovery. I know I will be whole and unbroken again. I know I will trust my self again. I just wish (and sometimes think and pretend) that I am "recovered".