Thank you WTH - but, I think it is more sheer fear than willpower driving me forward. I can not live like I was "living" before. I have not been a good role model for my kids (I am very worried and ashamed about this), I have been a terrible wife and mother, I have embarrassed myself in public, I have missed work, I drove drunk (with kids in the car) many, many times, and the list goes on. Up until I quit, I don't think I remember much of anything after 6 PM at night for the last year -- it is quite frightening and sad. How I ever found my way to SR and found the courage to post and stop the insanity three days ago is completely beyond me. I can not mess this up. You all have been a lifeline to me.
Panacea