Originally Posted by
android1 
I went for a drive out of cell phone and internet coverage. I sat down by a stream, oddly enough a place a took my AW on our first date. I sat down and read the first 2 chapters in the book A journey from abandonment to healing. And had some deep conversation with my self.
I feel better. I know my values and I know what is right. I know that nurturing The Crush in my head is only going to lead to pain. I know the reason for The Crush is the need to be loved, to feel loved. I know that nothing good can come of it. And most important, I am broken, and I need to do what ever it takes to heal my wounds.
I appreciate all of the advice here. I have been playing in my mind with thoughts of The Crush. I have been rationalizing it. I have not spoken about it to friends, only because of my pride holding to my values. When all along I have been toying with the idea of giving them up for self pleasure.
Good for you. Think about it, something shallow for now? Or work through your stuff and something you cannot even have imagined, something that makes you feel like you're "home", it's worth it.
If this woman is it, she needs to work on her own stuff for now, so, irregardless, both of you have crap to work out. Let her find her own way, you find yours, and maybe, if you are both healthy, you might not like each other all that much anyways? :op...Or, you might find out, you two were on a path separate but, you both reached the same destination. You don't know..so, don't make something happen that might or might not happen.