I'm going to give you major points for coming here and posting that, first of all. You've made yourself accountable to us in addition to yourself by doing so. What are you doing for YOURSELF that's fun? What do you enjoy doing on your own? I like bowling and rollercoasters (the real ones at amusement parks, not the ACoA and codie types!) and playing cheesy board games. I like driving down the road with friends singing the wrong lyrics to songs we think we know at the tops of our lungs. What do YOU like to do? Make a list and post it here. Find friends (sober, non-codie) who like to do those same things and GO DO THEM. Whenever you feel the urge coming to do something stupid, post here or call someone who will tell you "Whoa, back the truck up. No!" In time, your desire for this "relationship" will fade. Been there, done that.