KE, thanks for the check on my motivation. No, I am definitely NOT trying to punish him. This is 100% pure self-preservation and as PrayingMama said, I feel like I'm giving my inner wellspring time to renew. I just need a vacation from him.
That sounds extremely healthy to me. I love what PrayingMama said "if the well runs dry, nobody drinks". Perfect. Let your well fill so that you can be strong and full. The motivation check is what I have to do with myself all the time.....not just with my son.....but all the time with everyone. It helps me stay on course and tells me (usually in hindsight unfortunately) when an amends is needed.
Take care of you today and do something to nurture your spirit and fill that well.
gentle hugs
ke