I've avoided talking about this to my parents...I know I will have to. I have avoided it because I feel like a total idiot. I've spent five years trying to keep everything looking normal in hopes he would wake up and get right. He would promise to do better, and things would seem better until they weren't. I have accepted that I can't make him want to get better. That's all on him. He only sees a problem in the crack use...which is brought on by his drinking. He refuses to admit that he has to stop drinking to be able to function. Last night, I explained to him that I could not live with him if he continued to drink. It's a problem even without the crack. He sees it as a controlling head game, since I used to cave in the past if he was sober a few days.