but I know my future self would thank me
What a beautiful and wise way to view this. And yes......your future self will thank you. There is something else waiting for you in the future and you have opened that door to allow it to happen. Our lives are composed of a series of choices and as difficult as those decisions might be, if we keep ourselves (in a healthy way of course) as the priority in these choices, it will be a smoother ride.
gentle hugs
ke