Originally Posted by
laurie6781 
This would not be 'being vindictive' this would be allowing him to feel the consequences of his actions. By not reporting the stolen items you are once again 'enabling' the addict.
I know it is hard, my mom told me just how hard it was when she called the police on me because I was attempting to break into their home to again 'steal' some items to pawn. But I can tell you that it was a wake up call of sorts and I did no more stealing, although at that point it still took me another 2 years and 3 months to find recovery.
Three months prior to that they told me that 'it' was my problem and that until I 'fixed' my problem they would have no more contact with me. That if I called on the phone they would hang up, if I came to the door it would be closed in my face, and that if I attempted to steal from them the cops would be called. They showed me they meant business.
Those are wise words to take in and consider.
I don't regret our choice to press charges against our son (stealing from us, destruction of our property, and then 2 years later, breaking and entering into our home when we were out of town and he was not permitted there). He had been pretty smug with his assumption that he could do whatever he wanted to us and get away with it.
Anyway, I am sending prayers for you, your son, stepson, and husband. I wish you strength to get through this difficult time. Take care.