I was once as confused as you are. I allowed my XAH to see our son even though he didn't pay child support. My twisted thinking was that two wrongs don't make a right. I thought my son had the right to know his father. My son grew up. He now uses with his father. Do I think it was the right thing to do....to let my son spend time with his addicted father? Simply no.
Welcome to SR. There is a lot of collective wisdom here.
gentle hugs.
ke