Originally Posted by
dontjudgeme920 
Hello,
I am new to the board. I am 26 years old, and my soon to be ex boyfriend is an alcoholic. We have been together for 5 years and lived together for 2. Before we lived together, I ignored a lot of signs that he was an alcoholic, but once we lived together, I learned within a week that he was drinking a fifth of jack every day. I was stunned. At first, I let it go, but after a year and a half, I gave him an ultimatum, and now I am leaving him. I found a new apartment, and I am moving in 2 weeks. We have spent the summer living together with the knowledge that I am leaving. It is like ripping off the slowest bandaid ever!
I have been going to counseling and al anon, and I am feeling good about the future. I have no doubts I am making the right decision.
ANyone who has gone through this, I would love to hear what its like after the breakup, and how life has gotten better. I would also like to know what challenges you have faced on the other side.
Thanks!
I had a very similar situation to you but we were together for nearly six years and lived together for over five years. I saw the signs but still stayed as I was in denial and when I finally had enough, we ended up living together for a month while he found somewhre to live. It was the most painful thing I've ever gone through as I didn't want him to leave, I just couldn't deal with it anymore.
I don't doubt I've made the right decision but I do miss him. It's not just about feeling lonely, I miss the dreams and hopes I had for us and I'm a bit shell shocked still that we're not together. But I agree with posters here that I don't miss the stress, the worry, the fear and being so tired and anxious all the time.
If I'm honest, I found it a bit like being hit by a sledge hammer and once he was gone, I was bereft. I go through phases but every day it is a little less hard. I swing back every now and then and wonder if I've made any progress but I think that's just the process.
You've done the right thing - you may come to question it in weeks to come but that is also part of the process. I found counselling vital in getting me sorted and keeping busy. Not so busy that I was never alone and never facing up to my feelings but busy enough to feel like I had a life and I hadn't given it all up.
I'm sorry you're going through this but I hope you find this forum as supportive as I have - the idea that lots of people have been where you are, really helped me.