Nicolex0,
It sounds like you are on the right track, painful as it is right now.
Welcome to SR and yes, keep reading and posting here.
Even when I don't feel like posting, just reading of others' situations and then the caring advice that follows is such a balm to my soul. I love what you wrote about your future self. That is a great way to put the focus on your dreams, health and happiness. We are told "one day at a time," but I have to admit, I get a lot of strength imagining that my dreams, simple as they are, can be reached and actualized. Peace.