Nicolex0

I have been in a relationship with a substance abuser and alcoholic now for 2 years on and off and its been one of the most amazing and hardest things I've personally been through. I grew up with both parents being substance abuser and alcoholics and it never seemed as bad as this. Last night me and my bf decided that enough was enough. That I could never understand that part of him and he could never understand where I stood. It was like a gapping hole in our relationship that always kept us from moving to the next step.

I spent so much time trying to convince him to stay and so much time shushing the voices that told me to leave. In the end we were always just putting off the inevitable.

I guess Im just writing here because I'm hurt and its hard. I know how this is going to be. I know I'm going to be laughing one minute and crying the next. The only thing that gives me comfort is that this will be good for him because now he has to be accountable. He can no longer hide by blaming me. And because I'm a firm believer everything happens for a reason it helps me get through.

I read a lot of the articles in here about people married and with children and you know, those thoughts were always at the back of my mind. Can he raise a child. would he go on 2 day binges and leave us because he can't cope. So I may not be glad its ending but I know my future self would thank me. So thank you for sharing your stories and being a support group. Its so amazing that I have somewhere to come to when I'm at my weakest!