Welcome Panacea!
I most certainly can feel your pain. You're not alone. I, too, consume more calories in alcohol than I do food. I feel so much pain, guilt & embarrassment of the things I have said or done in the past while drunk, most of the time being aimed at those I love the most.
The step you just took is a huge one & you should be proud of yourself. I just did it myself a few days ago, it was a hard one, but exciting all at the same time. Because we've admitted to ourselves that we have a problem & need help. No longer am I going to say, "oh, I'll be able to quit one day", only to wake up with a hangover the next. It has to be today. And if I screw up today, I'm going to try again tomorrow.
Stay on here. Keep reading & posting. That's what I'm doing. I don't feel alone when I do. There's a lot of caring people out there who offer some great advice.
We're sharing this journey together.
You have my best wishes.
Hugs~jaz