Let Go - Finally
I sent the final divorce paperwork to my AH for signature. I have no doubt that he will sign and return them promptly. It's best that way - gives me less time to think.
I'm not sure how I feel right now. I think the best word would be NUMB. I don't want a divorce. I truly valued our marriage and the vows that we took. But like others have said, a marriage is a union between TWO people ... and 90% of the time I was alone. It didn't matter if we were separated or if he was sitting on the couch next to me - I was still alone.
I fought the fight, that's for sure. I held on as best I could. I held on to all of those "what if's" to the very end. But I need to do what’s best for me AND for my beautiful daughter ... and for him too! I can’t imagine my life without him, but I can’t imagine my future with him.
I read this on an SR sticky and it really struck me: It’s easier to mend a broken heart, than it is to piece together a shattered identity.
Addiction sucks. Period. No one wins. Let go, Let God.