Thank you everybody... I hate this so much. I have to head back to work soon. Why am I feeling like I want to go buy a bottle of wine after work and drown in my sorrows even after I know that drinking is a big part of the reason why I lost that guy. I feel so pathetic and I feel like I am trapped. I don't know if I should try the walk in clinic or what. Its so hard to fight the urge to go buy more alcohol and smokes and do what I always do every night. Drink and smoke my life away. I need help I need somebody to talk to. With my work schedule how am I supposed to see anybody? I work until 5 every day. I am trapped in this hell world of alcoholism. I don't know how to stop because this is all I know.