Originally Posted by
akalacha 
This is what I wanted, so why does it hurt so much?
Boy can I relate to these words. I decided I couldn't live with AW, decided I wanted to separate, finally got my own apartment, and then found myself saying these EXACT words.
It feels funny to put a huge amount of effort (emotional effort in particular) into something, and then realize that the original pain is still there.
But either way, there is pain. So enjoy the peace and quiet, and you have to admit, no alcoholic, no drama!