akalacha, I know how you feel. My relationship has been up and down for a long time (most of the relationship, actually...2 years 8 months) and this past Monday I had to pull the cord on it. Long story short, he had been trying to drink less, and I saw him Monday at 12:30 pm absolutely hammered drunk. He even went to work for a couple of hours that afternoon after I saw him like that, drunk!! Broke my heart. By 7:30 pm, he was abusing me via text so he's on call block. Again. I'll post my story some other time, right now I'm cooking/reading/should be doing homework, but I just wanted to say my gosh I know exactly how you feel: I wanted for him to not be an alcoholic anymore, I wanted that wonderful him I knew when he wasn't drunk. Instead, I'm having to walk away.
Big hugs. I know the hurt you feel.