I thought I was doing well not drinking and smoking... I have had trouble with alcohol addiction for a long time but the past two years it has been really bad and every time I go to get help or manage to quit for a while I end up binging again. I met a wonderful guy online the past two weeks. I moved a few hours from home for work last spring and don't really know anybody here, I decided to try online dating. I met the greatest guy ever, like a dream come true... I completely screwed it up with my drinking. I lost him because of it. Went over to his house and had dinner with him, I decided "a bit" of whiskey wouldn't hurt. Well I drank the whole bottle in front of him, acted like an idiot... Puked in front of him. I lost the man of my dreams and I'll never forgive myself. I was so stupid to think I had a chance with a guy like that? Out of my league... I hate this addiction so much, its ruining everything, I lost him and I don't want to lose my job too because then I have nothing. I need help. I haven't slept for 3 days, I feel too guilty to call in sick to work even though my nerves are shot and I can't sleep even a little bit without a few drinks. My emotions keep changing from angry to depressed. I feel so unstable and I have nobody here with me to talk to. That guy will not see me at all he wants nothing to do with me, I feel worthless and wish I could disappear. I don't even feel like myself anymore. I need a hug so bad like a real one
