I used to look back on my drinking as fun, stress free and enjoyment.
Then when I realised I had a problem, I also realised I looked back on my drinking with rose tinted spectables.
For the most I don't think my drinking was fun or laughter filled.
I got black out drunk quite a few times when I was in my teens.
I never drank to enjoy, I drank like a teenager to get drunk.
It caused problems with my parents. Especially when they had to sit up with me in the night to make sure I did not vomit in my sleep.
It made me paranoid.
Maybe it's not all my fault - does anyone ever teach you the right way to drink?
I had a very immature attitude to drinking - I did it to get sloshed.
I had more fun when I could remember and join in the conversation.
As the years went on, drinking fustrated me more. Could I trust myself and just have two or three?
Had I drunk to much and was I drinking like others was a constant worry.
What I said and did while drinking always weighed on my mind.
I turned to drink after bad things happened - to brood over being dumped by a boyfriend, an argument at home or a bad day at work. How in anyway shape or form was that happy care free drinking?
Just have a look back and see is all occasions were really happy and carefree?
Just an observation from my past.