IMO, a good counselor does not take sides. A good counselor puts things in a way that helps the person to be able to see themselves. Yes, our issues are that we choose unhealthy people for whatever reason. But the counselor just repeating what the H said, just put you on the defensive, and sent you into defensive mode. Of course you didn't know he was going to become what he has become. You hoped for what we all hoped for. Until the alcoholism is addressed, and the A stops drinking, the relationship can't move forward. If the only way to get the A to admit he has no intention of stopping is to force him to go to counseling with you, so be it. But spending time blaming eachother is a big waste of time and money, IMO.
I hope you find a good therapist for YOU. To help you figure out why you chose the kind of person you chose and help you to not do that again.