Well, Liz, this sounds like a page out of alcoholism #101. (referring to your last post).
The alcoholic, not in recovery, wants to drink. They resent anyone who gets between them and their drink. DUUh!
Liz, is it possible that you have wanted a "reason" that sounds "legitimate" to all. Kind of like staying politically correct. After all, who will argue with what is accepted as a
good reason to end a relationship. Besides, it serves to sidestep the true reasons for wanting a divorce---thus avoiding conflict with the husband in front of the therapist. You have been very open about the fact that you have a deadly fear of conflict--and since childhood, have done anything to avoid it.
If this is true, it reminds me of myself when I said that I would have divorced the children's father sooner if he had physically abused me. I meant this, also. I was afraid (for a while) that I would be blamed by society for ending a marriage for a frivoilus reason. As the misery of having my spirit sucked from my very bone marrow grew, I realized that my personal spirit is far more valuable than "appearances". At that point, my decision became easy.
If you are unhappy enough that you want out---you are not required to defend your reasons to anyone else. Your own happiness is your right and your own responsibility.
If you got what you wanted from the first joint session, I say this guy is genius.
dandylion