Burst Bubble Cont.
Morning Everyone!
Thank you so much for the kind words and support! I am kind of deliriously exhausted this morning so please bare with me if I have too many spelling errors. Recently I have been in a serious health kick and wake up at 4:30 AM every morning to work out like a fool! I know sounds crazy but that is the only way I can get it in with three kooky kids right.
Well here is an update of last nights conversation. First of all we started later than I wanted to since my 2 year old refused to go to sleep without me. But with all three angels/nut bars safely tucked in bed, my coffee in hand and Top Chef in the background (sometimes I need to look at something else to either calm down or hide the fact that if I roll my eyes any higher they might just fall out of my head) I was ready to get down to business.
As soon as I saw his face I knew it would either turn into a yelling match or just him letting me know how upset and angry he was at the way I reacted to his “mistake” and how he is just on his own. Well I was just way too tired to get into a yelling match and for goodness sakes I just got those kids to sleep! So I listened to his usual “bleep” and stayed rather calm. So I took the high road. I said okay maybe I shouldn’t have been so mean (inner eye roll) but it doesn’t change the fact that you betrayed me again and put me in a situation where we have to make some serious decisions about us, the kids and our living situation. I told him I don’t trust him and that maybe too many things have happened for us to ever be able to have a real relationship again. He said his part about maybe he doesn’t trust me or believe in my support. At this point I tuned into Top Chef and checked out some of the awesome dishes, I wish I could cook like that! When I looked back he was all hurt looking and sullen. I asked him what he was thinking and planning. He said that he is trying to deal with how upset he is about what he did, finishing his real estate classes (the latest) and try to figure out how to bring in $$ to the house. He is not ready to give up on being with the kids. I told him that his influence is no good for the kids. He answered that at there age its irrelevant if you can believe that $hit! At this point I knew this “talk” was going nowhere. He was in his defiant mode which I know well. So once Top Chef ended I stood told him I was tired and was going to bed.
So what’s next? I have to make a better plan for our next conversation and maybe get some flip cards! Don’t get me wrong I am not treating this as a joke its just that sometimes I just feel so surreal with my situation that the only way I can deal is to make myself laugh. Because I am so done with the crying bit. I am doing some serious research into separation, visitation and all the Florida laws. I will keep you updated as best I can. Thank you so much for your support and suggestions. PLEASE feel free to give as much as you can. You guys are the best! Talk to you soon