welcome ((Cindirelly))
glad you have found us, but hate the reason ~
It seems from your post you have already learned much about what is healthy for you ~ that is great - I know recovery has helped me tremendously in dealing with my adult children that are addicts.
For me, I had to look at what could I do that
1. I would not be resentful about (especially if it didn't turn out the way I wanted)
2. My adult children couldn't do for themselves
3. was keeping them from facing the consequences of their actions
and most importantly robbing them from the abilty of finding their own self-respect and dignity to find their own way.
There are many parents on this site who have shared their e, s, & h (experience, strength and hope) that have helped me on my path - I hope that you will stick around, read and continue to post to seek help for yourself too!
PINK HUGS,
Rita