I don't think this is necessarily alcoholic behavior. I'm ashamed to say that I was in a long term relationship with someone like this and I stayed because he always made it seem like it was my fault. I kept thinking if I changed what I did or said we wouldn't have these fights. Look up Narcissistic personality disorder (or Borderline) and see if he has any of these characteristics. Knowing that it wasn't my fault and there was nothing I could do if he isn't willing to help himself was like a huge weight had been lifted.
Good Luck!