It's very normal MF.
It would be great if we could just quit, never look back and get better and better with each day - but then we wouldn't need places like this.
life's not alway's a straight line, so neither is recovery
If you feel you need more support and you want to explore the secular angle there are many recovery groups like that - SMART, Rational Recovery and LifeRing for example.
I recommend you also visit our
Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach
D